Animal I Have Become
by Demonic lil Angel
Summary: Eddy is being lazy while his friends slave around to work... AGAIN. Until the Als mysteriously disappear. Instead the Eds find three little animals in their place. What could this mean? Rated T for a reason. I do not own Ed Edd n Eddy.
1. Curses

This isn't based on the song, I swear. This story is a request from Minimossfightshimer. Sorry it took so long, busy with some stuff. ^^lll

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><p>Ed carried a large box of parts he found from the junkyard and Alex riding in it. "YA ED! RUN LIKE THE WIND!" She cried out, snapping a broken cable in the air like a whip. Ed whinnyed and bolted. He went so fast that he even went through the wire fence and straight into the lanes through the fence. By now both of them were covered in cuts and splinters, but didn't really care at the moment.<p>

"You got the stuff?" Eddy asked, not even bothering to worry about their condition. Ed passed out and Alex nodded, holding the box. "Then get it to Double D!" Alex trudged to him in the backyard with Ed holding onto her ankle.

"Oh, you have it- Oh my GOD! What happened to you guys?" Alyssa asked, putting down the box.

"We uh... smashed into the fence. You okay now Ed?" Ed had his mouth on the sprinkler and now his head was inflating faster than a balloon. Water poured out his ears as he drank.

"That's gotta be unhealthy for his brain." Alyssa said.

"What brain? Now quit stalling and get to work!" Eddy said.

"Look who's talking. you haven't even lifted a finger since you suggessted this." Eddy had Ed bring him some lemonade. He glared at the arrogant girl.

"I did! Look how much effort I'm going through supervising all you slackers!" He fought back.

"HAH! Supervising my ass! Lazy bum!" Eddy was ready to strangle her when Double D called for her. "Coming!~" She skipped away, feeling Eddy's heavy glare on her back. The other girls were with him as well.

"We need to borrow Victor for our new zoo. Do you think you girls could ask Rolf to lend him?" He asked, nailing some wood together to make a fence.

"Sure thing, but why do you need all of us?" Alyssa asked.

"Well... Rolf isn't very happy with us at the moment." Double D said. Eddy shuddered at that memory. He had multiple bruises on him because of that encounter.

"Rolf mad at us for eating!" Ed said angrily. He picked up some sausages on the floor and ate them as Alex plucked splinters from his neck and arms. "EAGH!" He screamed as Alex pulled out a large splinter from his skull. Alice sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I don't really blame him for being upset. But we'll ask if we can borrow Victor. C'mon girls." Alice pulled Alex away by her shirt and Alyssa followed close behind.

"Do you think Rolf will really lend Victor to us?" Double D asked.

"Lend or steal, as long as we get the goat I don't care!" Eddy yelled, then sipping his lemonade. "Get to work lazy!" Eddy cracked a rope above Ed's head and he saluted.

Rolf's backyard

The girls watched Rolf work on his crops and tend to the animals silently from over the fence. "So... when is he gonna go somewhere else?" Alex whined.

"Just shut up. Do you guys see where Victor is?" Alyssa asked, scratching her head.

"Hey, I see him!" Alice said.

"Where?"

"Yeah, where?"

"Over there." Alice pointed to near the shed. Victor's butt was sticking out from behind it.

"Okay then! Let's get that goat!" Alex began to climb over the fence when Rolf went inside.

"Wait! What are you doing?" Hissed Alyssa.

"Getting the goat before Rolf comes back out. Now come on!" Alice and alyssa sighed and followed her to behind the shed. They each grabbed Victor but before they could escape with him a large hairy woman stomped out of the shed, a shaggy brush in her meaty hands.

"Holy fricking shit..." Alice whispered to herself. The woman was ENORMOUS! Her hair was the same as Rolf's color, except it was curly. She had on a flowery dress and her arms were hairy. They could also see a bunch of hairs on her back coming up from the collar of her dress and she also had a mustache.

"You! How dare you trespass upon the land of shepards! And you try to steal nana's goat! Nana curse you with animals!" For some reason, the three girls couldn't think straight. The world began to swirl in multiple colors and their brains went haywire.

"I don't... feel so good..." Alyssa mumbled.

"I think I'm gonna puke..." Alex said, turning a faint green.

"We gotta... tell... the guys..." Alice mumbled. Then they all passed out. Rolf's nana took their unconcious bodies and threw them into the smelly shed.

"Learn your lesson!" Shouted Nana before she slammed the door shut.

Hours later: With the Eds

"Eddy, it's been over three hours! Don't you think the girls would have returned by now?" Asked the very worried Double D. He was already finished with all the makeshift exhibits and all they needed was something to power them all. They even had a large wheel to power them all with cords hooking up to each robot animal. Eddy groaned and got up from his chair.

"Fine! Since they're taking so damn long!" Grumbled Eddy. He snapped his fingers and Ed picked up his chair and carried him. Double D sighed and followed them all the way to Rolf's yard. It was empty of course and had no evidence of the girls being there. Rolf came out of the house with his brush.

"Rolf? Have you seen-"

"Ed boys! What brings you to Rolfs?" Rolf asked, brushing Victor's coat. Eddy looked at the goat with narrowed eyes. _So they weren't able to grab the goat! Lazy girls! _Eddy hissed in his mind.

"I was going to ask if you've seen our-" Double D started.

"Ed boys annoying girlfriends? No. Rolf has not seen any of them. GERTRUDE!" Ed was hugging a chicken like crazy and the chicken was struggling. There was something banging around in the shed. Eddy went to there and opened the door curiously.

"Meeew..."

"Grrr."

"Squeeeak!" Three little things zipped out of the shed and then crashed into Ed. Ed dropped the chicken and picked up a yellow puppy, a black kitten, and a brown hamster.

"Ooooh! Can I keep them? This one will be Ragnarok." Ed pointed to the puppy. "This will be Drakon." He showed the cat. "And this will be..." The hamster jumped out of his smelly arms and into Double D's hands. Fearful of what Ed could decide for a rodent. The hamster shivered from the cold and in fear. Double D was hesitant because he knew that the hamster could have some weird illness or could be filthy. But there was not a speck of dirt on it.

"Uh... guys?" Eddy said, peeking into the shed. There were three piles of clothing. Eddy went inside and picked through one pile and he pulled out... a pair of lacy pink panties. "OH MY GOD!" He dropped the panties and screamed in horror. Double D and Ed were struck speechless. They all looked at the now seemingly shy animals with a new perspective.

"What were you doing with undies? Naughty kitty!" Ed nuzzled the cat's nose and the puppy growled. The cat sneezed. Double D went inside with the hamster on his shoulder.

"Ed... I don't think they were playing with these clothes. Why, these almost look exactly like-" Double D picked up a VERY familiar 'Death Note' t-shirt from the pile and a bra fell out from inside it. His jaw dropped and his pupils shrunk. The hamster darted down Double D's shoulder and down his arm and jumped onto a black article of clothing. "You don't think that... wait... this is ridiculous! There is no way that these ANIMALS..." Eddy picked up the pile the hamster was sitting on to find a black sweatshirt. "There is a perfectly logical explanation for this. The girls..." Double D swallowed and heat began to radiate from his face. "ahem... are running around without... decency." They could all practically feel his blush by now. Eddy was having his fantasies with blood dripping from his nose and Ed had no idea what was going on. The puppy growled at Double D and the cat hissed. The hamster was giving him a glare.

"There is only one way we can see if these are really them." Eddy said, picking up the puppy. Double D raised a brow and even the cat and hamster seemed interested to what he was going to say. the puppy began to shake for some strange reason. He suddenly pushed the puppy against Double D's face, making their noses touch. The hamster instantly got angry and jumped from where it was and scratched at Eddy. Ed puffed out his cheeks. Eddy shreiked and dropped the puppy.

"No fair..." He grumbled.

The hamster's screams of fury were similar to a jealous girls. "EEAAGH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF MY PERFECT FACE!" The cat huffed and rolled its blue eyes, obviously disagreeing to that. She had the same sassy attitude as Alice. Ed picked up the little yellow dog and brought it out into the sun.

"...Alex?" Ed asked. The dog panted and nodded its head. "ALEX!" He hugged the puppy and span in circles. The hamster and cat watched their friends spin around as double D and Eddy fought with lots of bad language on Eddy's part.

"Meew! Meeoaaaa..." (Well, at least Ed really believes it's us.) Alice said.

"Squeeaaaak squeeek squee." (I'll continue to try to convince Double D that we're really ourselves.) Alyssa squeaked out.

"Nyyaan mew meow." (Shouldn't we worry about fixing this curse BEFORE proving ourselves?)

"Sqqueaak squeak sqeeya." (If we don't get back to normal soon maybe Double d can build something I mean.)

"Mew..." (Mhmm...)


	2. Cures

Wheeee! What do you think of this so far? I still want to see requests if you have any!

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><p>Ed took Alex and Alice into his room. They were struggling and suffocating constantly. Alyssa was driving Eddy insane. She had tried to sit on his head, but he tried to hit her off so she darted onto his shoulder. He tried flicking her off she she crawled into his sleeve and now he was jumping everywhere laughing and screaming in pain to get her out. Double D and Ed were laughing like crazy. Alice stretched out her muscles and yawned. This was already getting boring so she flashed out a claw at Eddy and Alyssa with an angry eye. Alyssa quietly climbed down Eddy's pants and sat in a small corner in shame. Eddy laughed but ended up screaming in pain when Alice scratched his leg, leaving a deep claw mark. Eddy was ready to kill her when Double D intervened. "Enough Eddy. First we should just see if these really are the girls before you do anything to them. These could really be Rolf's new animals we took." He said, rubbing his head anxiously.<p>

"C'mere Alyssa! I gots seeds!" Ed said, holding a handful of seeds out that he found at Rolf's place. The hamster's ears perked and she sprang for the seeds.

"Nom nom nom nom nom." she said as she nibbled and chewed on the seeds. Double D had to admit... the rodent was cute. Ed tried to take one, but the hamster hissed at his hand. Ed withdrawed and she nommed happily. Double D stroked her head with his finger, and she hummed happily as well. Eddy sat down on the bed and Alice purred and rubbed against his leg in an affectionate manner. She stopped halfway and actually thought about what she was doing. _This is HUMILIATING! Stupid cat instincts! _She screamed in her head. But she couldn't stop, it felt really good. She purred louder.

"So... what do you think happened to these three?" Eddy asked. Alyssa's ears shot up and she dropped the seeds, then dug through Double D's pockets and came out with a pen. She began to scribble on the floor.

_Hi guys! _

Everyone gasped. Alice and Alex took turns with the pen. Alice used her tail and paws while Alex used her mouth and paws. Alyssa had to use her entire body to write.

_I WILL KILL U EDDY_

Wrote Alice, glaring her cat eyes straight at the guy who's bright idea was to make them steal the goat. Eddy backed up from the bed as Alice unsheathed her claws and pounced on him. "M'RAWR!" The cat cried out. Eddy screamed as the cat attacked him. Double D wanted to pull Alice off him, but felt that he deserved it for being so cruel to them earlier. Alex took the pen.

_MY BUTT ITCHES_

She then tried to scratch it, but couldn't. Ed scratched her butt and she then nuzzled his hand. "That's... odd." Double D said. Alyssa took the pen and whacked Alex in the head angrily. Alex whined. Alyssa looked like she was about to face palm but instead shook her little head and went onto scribbling her note on the floor.

_Srry bout them. Rolf's nana cursed us! Need 2 find solution_

Double D couldn't believe that Rolf's nana was behind all this. And to think the woman was just crazy and... _well... not very good to look at._ Double D thought, his polite mind not able to say the more appropriate words to describe the woman. "We could ask Rolf for the cure, but it might take some bribery of sorts to get it out of him." He said.

"Why not just use them in a circus and rake up the dough?" Eddy offered. Alice scratched him. "YOW!" Alex and Alyssa snickered.

"I am sorry Eddy, but what if the effects become permanent soon? We need to find a solution or they may never turn back to normal." Double D stroked Alex and she wagged her little tail.

"But they're so cute as animals! Why can't we keep them like this?" Whined Ed.

"Did you just hear me Ed? They might never turn back if we don't!" Alex picked up Alyssa and put her on her back, then ran out the room. Alice followed behind.

"Where the hell are those three freaks going?" Eddy asked.

"Since you refuse to help, they must be looking for a cure!" Double D said.

Outside

They found Tim just outside. Tim barked, curious. "Bark! Baark bark!" _Who are you? I never knew a golden retriever lived around here! _Tim said. Excited, Alex introduced herself to her favorite puppy in the world.

_"It's me Tim! Your master Alex!" _He seemed confused at that title.

_"Sorry, I don't have a master named Alex. But are you talking about my gold headed friend who always smells like meat?" _He sniffed her and licked his chops. _"FRIEND!" _He tackled Alex head on and Alyssa and Alice had no choice to either watch or get killed in that mess.

_"Since the guys were no help at all... where should we start?" _Alice mewed.

_"We should head back home first and see if we can find anything online that would help." _Alyssa squeaked. Alice nodded her agreement and they ran to the house, leaving Alex and Tim to tussle. Double D and Eddy followed them as Ed picked up Tim and Alex and carried them away.

Inside

Alyssa climbed onto her desk and Alice turned on the computer. Double D sat in the chair and watched as she began to jump up and down on the keypad, typing in the words and then clicked search with her stubby arms. She spelled '_Animal/Human curses' _on the search tab. After a few minutes, the results came on to find there was only one that came on positive to what they wanted. Alice clicked the top search and a blog created by a gypsy and her claims about curses and potions came onto the front. Double D took the mouse and clicked on the '_curses'_, and then to narrow down the search he clicked _'animals'._

_There have been various claims that animal curses such as the werewolf or turning into a frog could be only cured with silver, or a kiss from a princess. Well it isn't. There are different types of cures for each and every condition. But all require one ingredient, the profile of the one who cast the curse, such as a piece of skin, hair, or some dandruff. But you must also prepare the cure so that your cure is exact, and you don't turn into something even worse. _Below the paragraph, was a long listing in alphabetical order on the animals and how each could be cured. Double D looked at the first one his eye caught, which was 'feline'. "What does it say Double D?" Ed asked.

"Felines are rather easy to cure. First you must make sure to keep the cursed one away from any kind of fish and cat products." He read out loud, and wrote at the same time. Alice moped. "Take the sample of the one who cast the curse, and put it in a cold bath. Then, you take milk, warm it, and pour it into the tub. After, you put the feline into the tub and they should be cured in a matter of seconds!" Alice blanched at the thought of having to take a bath. Now as a cat, being wet at all was a nightmare. Eddy rubbed his palms together happily, finally being able to have revenge and she wouldn't kill him. Double D then clicked 'Canines' and read it aloud. "This oughta be gooood." Eddy said.

"Canines are tricky since they are very aggressive. First, make sure they don't chase any cars. They begin to lose themselves within the animal and that only makes it faster. The dog has to go 24 full hours without eating anything involving meat (that includes seafood). Next, take one thing that they hold the dearest to their hearts, and the sample on it, and break it in front of them. The anger should be enough to instantly revert them back to their normal selves." Double D swallowed. The Eds all looked at each other nervously.

"I'm not doing it!" Eddy said.

"Neither am I." Double D said. Both Eds looked at Ed, who was just staring off into space.

"Ed." They concluded, then Double D went to the link 'Rodents'.

"Rodents curses are a rare find, and are very hard to conjure. Curing it isn't easy either. The victim will have the urge to eat lots of things, but under NO circumstances can they be put in a cage. Instead, put the sample in a seed, have that same seed wrapped in the hair of the victim BEFORE the transformation, and leave it out in the moonlight for an hour. This is the easy part, getting them to eat it is the worst. They should return to normal within seconds of eating this." Alyssa turned very green and stuck out her tongue.

"Mew meeow meeww."_ "And I thought Ed ate disgusting things."_


	3. Gathering

Hamster girl... first one i've ever seen really. :3

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><p>"These cures are most likely complete baloney, but we should give it a try... oh... the DNA samples are all different... rodents have to have skin, felines need toe or fingernails, and canines need hair." Double D said. Alyssa nodded her tiny head and Alex barked in agreement. Tim didn't seem very happy about a cure, and Alice mewed happily. They were already walking towards Rolf's house for some samples. Since Alyssa was the smallest, she was able to squeeze through under the door and unlock it, letting the others inside.<p>

"They still have all this plastic covering?" Eddy asked, seeing all the furniture covered up.

"Rolf's family is weird." Ed said with a grin, then went off into the halls. Eddy and Alyssa walked through the halls. Seems that the family was out for the time. Eddy opened a door to find a room completely filled with brushes and hair stuff, like a barber's shop.

_"It's a barber shop in here. Let's find one of that fatass's hair!" _Alex barked out, sniffing in and walking inside.

_"But there's so much hair! How are we going to tell what hair is hers?"_ Alyssa squeaked curiously. Double D came in with Ed and Alice.

"There's so much hair in here! But how-"

_"Found one!" _Alex barked, gesturing over to the most girliest brush, and it was clean minus a few hairs on it. _"I'd never forget that fat bitches stench." _Alex growled. Alyssa scampered off, and then tripped over something hard near a small jar. She picked it up to find a huge naturally yellow misshapen toenail. She turned to a dark green color.

"What did you find Alyssa?" Double D asked, then picked up what she just picked up and nearly vomited. Then he took out a plastic baggy and put the toenail and hair in. "DISGUSTING!" Eddy stuck out his tongue in disgust as he took the bag and looked at the toenail.

"These people never heard of a nail clipper?" Alice went under the table and pulled out a hedge clipper.

"Seems that they didn't." Double D said.

"I got me a jar of toenails!" Ed said, taking the jar and putting it in his pocket.

"That's disgusting Ed!" Double D said, turning green. Alyssa squeaked in agreement and squeezed under a door, then the door opened to let the others in. Seems that it was Rolf's parent's room. The bed was clean and covered in plastic. Alex sniffed the air and felt like she was going to vomit all over the carpet. Double D searched the carpet for samples, and Tim just chewed on it. Double D managed to find a small skin sample, and put it in the bag before getting up. Ed rolled around, hugging his toenails. But then the front door slammed open.

"I SMELL FILTHY ED BOYS! VICTOR! DID YOU GET IN THE HOUSE AGAIN?" Rolf yelled. Double D jumped, and Eddy was wide eyed. Ed had no idea what was going on. Alyssa crept up Double D's leg and crawled under his hat fearfully.

"That has got to be Alyssa. I mean, who else would know her way around on you?" Eddy mocked, a perverted smile on his face. Alice facepalmed.

_"You don't realize how perverted you sound..." _Alice mewed, sweatdropping. But then all of them scattered and hid once stomping noises could be heard. Rolf opened the door, but couldn't see anyone.

"...hm..." He glared, and shut the door. His footsteps could be heard down the halls, disappearing from ears. One by one, they all snuck out of the room and went into the back, which was the butchery. Alex, Tim, and Ed were drooling at all the meat, ready to eat. Double D looked out the back window, and only the animals were walking around. Eddy opened the door and ran out, but before he could leap the fence, he was caught in a net by Rolf. Rolf stomped into the building, seething mad.

"ED BOYS!" He scooped up Ed, and then Double D. Tim and the Als scattered, and Rolf placed the net holding the boys above the weiner maker and chased after the animals. "Rolf will turn you rodents into sausages!" He yelled, getting a long stick. Alice gulped as she hid behind a barrel. Alyssa sat on her head, also swallowing hard. Tim growled, then bit Rolf on the ankle. Rolf yelled out in pain and tried to shake him off. "LET GO OF ROLF MONGREL!" Alex bolted past them, and began to try to knock away the net holding the Eds. she tried shaking it out of the way of the sausage maker, but the net began to give away.

"STOP ALEX!" Double D cried out.

"YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!" Eddy yelled.

"I gotta pee you guys!" Ed whined.

"NOOOO!" Eddy and Double D cried out, both knowing Ed wasn't afraid to pee himself.

"RAAAWWWRRR!" They all heard the roar of a lion, and all the chaos stopped in that second. Alyssa the hamster sat on the tiled ground, angry.

"Alyssa?" Double D asked.

"Eddy! Double D! ...I just peed myself..."

"YOU HAVE TAINTED MY SAUSAGES!" Rolf yelled. Alice clawed the net and the boys fell out of it, and came out as sausages, screaming. Alex and Tim chased after the Eds out the door, and as the Eds ran, the goat, chickens, and the pig smelled the delicious smell and chased after the sausage Eds. Alice and Alyssa dashed out of the house with Rolf yelling angrily behind them.

Hours Later

Double D was eaten up, and on the inside was his normal self. Alex and Tim were dragging their tongues on the carpet, not wanting to taste any more because Alyssa just happened to mention that Ed tinkled above the sausage maker. "Alice... here girl!" Eddy said, no longer a sausage, and tempting Alice with a fish as Double D prepared the bath. Eddy teased her and Double D put in the toenail sample in the milk and stirred the milk with a large stick.

"Mrowr!~" Alice purred. Ed went out the door after the two dogs, and Alyssa following to make sure they didn't throw up all over the couch. Double D ran out after them and Eddy pulled away the fish, and Alice landed in the milk bath. There was an instant poof of smoke, and Alice coughed as she got out of the milk bath. Eddy looked up at her, and his nose erupted with blood and he grinned like an idiot. Alice looked down at Eddy and blushed really hard, then screamed. The last thing Eddy saw, was her foot going at hypersonic speed into his face and crotch.


End file.
